Let’s Evaluate Tinder Profiles Via Advanced Hockey Stats
How to calculate your Tinder Corsi, Tinder Fenwick, and Tinder PDO.
If you’re a functional breathing human in the year 2017, you’ve at least heard of Tinder, Bumble, JSwipe, Coffee Meets Bagel, Christian Mingle, Farmers Only, etc. If you’re reading this, you’re most likely using one, two — screw it — every dating app in existence. Shooters shoot, and it’s internSZN in New York City; you want to cast a wide net but maybe you’re unsure of your profile picture selection. Maybe you’re unsure how your bio will come across (that joke might come off as quite creepy). Well, Ethan and James spent an embarrassing amount of time and brain power to come up with advanced analytics for your Tinder profile.
Here’s how to calculate your Tinder Corsi, Tinder Fenwick, and Tinder PDO.
Tinder Corsi: 50 + (Number of Matches/60 Swipes + Number of Full Conversations/Match + Number of Hook-Ups Created/Convo) — (Number of Non-Matches/60 swipes + Messages Ignored/Match + Denied Hook-Ups/Convo)
I should start by saying that corsi hurts my head and I’m a little too dumb to understand it, so trying to invent my own version was essentially like if a chimpanzee tried to write “War and Peace.”
Anyway, when you boil corsi down, it essentially shows whether or not you shoot more than your opponent. On dating apps, you’re not technically competing with anyone — you’re your own worst enemy, so the stats need to change a little. Instead of being based around shots, Tinder Corsi, or Intercorsi, starts with a match. To determine your Intercorsi, start out by swiping left or right a total of 60 times, and keep track of how many matches you get. Then, go into your matches and start sending messages. You could go with a simple “hey,” but you need high quality shots to boost your advanced stats so try to get creative. Once a conversation starts, play it out and go from there. Just like hockey corsi, Intercorsi works in large sample sizes over long periods of time, so don’t count out a conversation or a hook-up too quickly.
For starters, let’s say you get 30 matches in 60 swipes, 20 of those matches turn into conversations, and you eventually hook up with 8 of those people. Half of your swipes are matches (.5), plus two thirds of your matches turn into conversations (.66), plus a decent rate of conversion to hook-ups (.4).
Here’s your formula: 50 + (.5+.66+.4) — (.5+.33+.6). 50 + (1.56) — (1.43).
Congratulations, your Intercorsi is 50.13, which in NHL standards, would put you right above league average.
Tinder Fenwick: 50 + (Number of Matches + Hook-Ups) — (Number of Non-Matches — Denied Hook-Ups).
Because shooters shoot.
Corsi is for nerds, everyone knows that. If you’re doing that much math, you’re not getting laid anyway. Fenwick is simpler, it’s the “Shooters Shoot Stat.” By cutting out the conversation stat, you can pick and choose your battles here. Did that cutie never reply to your first message? Don’t worry about it, we’re only counting shots on goal here. Once you get into a conversation with someone and pull the trigger though, that’s where it counts.
For the person we used as the example for Intercorsi, their Shooters Shoot Stat would look a little different. Instead of a percent, we’d use the raw number of hook-ups, so their formula would look like this.
50 + (30+8) — (30+12) = 46.
While this person had a positive Intercorsi, their Fenwick was way below league average, showing an alarming ability to finish. Are your stats below league average? You might just be getting unlucky, here’s how to find out.
Tinder PDO = ((Profile Picture Rating + Profile Bio Rating)/2 + (% Messaged With + % Hooked Up With)/2)
If PDO in hockey is puck luck, then PDO on dating apps is fuck luck. Tinder PDO is going to require a bit of the honor system here, so be honest with yourself. Rate your profile pictures on a scale of 1–100. To make this easier, just rate yourself 1–10 and multiply it by 10. Let’s say we have an average looking guy/gal, we’ll give them a 6.5, or a 65%. Add a half a point if you have a picture of you kissing your mom/dad or grandma/grandpa on the cheek (family values). Add another half a point if you have a picture with your dog. Let’s also say that this average looking person has a great personality — it really shines through in their bio. Let’s give them an eight, or an 80% on their bio. So with a (65%+80%)/2, the first part of this individual’s equation is 72.5%.
For the second part of our equation, let’s talk success rate. We’ll take the percentage of people who messaged back, plus the percentage of people they actually hooked up with, and divide it by two. Let’s say of the total matches, 40% of the people messaged back, and 15% of the people were gotten with. (50%+15%)/2 = 32.5%.
Let’s go ahead and calculate this person’s fuck luck: 72.5%+32.5% = 105%. This person has a little bit of fuck luck.